Real Men Can Talk

October is mental health month and an important time to check in on our own mental health and others, finding ways we can stay healthy or feel healthier.

With COVID-19, hybrid working and the increasing pressures on the costs of living, the mental health landscape has changed for all of us.

We are all allowed to feel, to emote, to love, to cry and to have weak moments. Our “Real Men Can Talk” webinar talked to the fact that real men, like all humans can be both strong as well as vulnerable.

According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, in 2020 there were 2,384 suicide deaths in males, disturbingly three times higher than females. Being aware is the first step and a conversation can save lives. If you’re feeling down, taking action to talk in a safe space, is the responsible thing to do.

Our webinar guest speaker, Terry Cornick, founder of Mr Perfect shared some insightful tips from his own mental health journey. You can register and listen to the on-demand version or read on for some highlights from the discussion.  

 Tips for creating a safe space to check in on the mental health of others

• Choose an open environment – A meeting place outdoors, such as a park, creates an inviting space that is not too confronting. It also gives people the opportunity to come and go with ease. The atmosphere tends to be more relaxing and casual, rather than a traditional therapy session when you’re sitting down, face to face.
• Make people feel comfortable – a smile goes a long way as well as a willingness to be present – that means no distractions such as phones or clock watching.
• Be ready to listen – being an active, empathetic listener is key. Leave judgements behind and remind yourself this is about the other person, not you.
• Try not to fix – sometimes we feel the need to step in and fix people and situations when they perceived to be broken. Hold back. Often, in these situations the greatest desire is to be heard rather than offered a solution or comparative advice.
  
• Give it time – for people to trust and open up, it can take time. Don’t force or pry if someone is not ready to share their story. Just keep showing up.
• One size doesn’t fit all – safe spaces come in a variety of ways, find what works for you and the important people in your life and build on that.  
   

Staying mentally healthy

• Make your health a priority first – it’s hard to be a good parent, co-worker or friend if your own cup is not full.
• Find mindful moments – mindfulness doesn’t have to be yoga or meditation, going for a walk, swim, getting a haircut or beard trim, gaming, reading, cooking – people decompress in different ways. Experiment and scatter these small moments across your day.
   

Feeling mentally healthier

• Exercise your mental health muscle – feeling comfortable to have conversations about mental health is like developing a new muscle. It takes hard work and lots of practice to open up and share on a regular basis. Remind yourself it’s a journey. At first it might be mentally and physically exhausting, but it gets easier.
• Get off the train if it’s too much – anxiety and panic don’t have to be never ending cycles, you can get off the train and break the stories in your mind.  
• Seek support – there are plenty of supportive organisations good for you and your mental health. You don’t have to do any of this alone. View the Men’s Health Directory on the Mr Perfect website for more information.

Please note, none of the above is medical advice but rather experienced based learnings from Terry’s own personal experience.