Divorce. It’s not a word we like to talk about or acknowledge, however here in Australia the reality is that 47,216 marriages ended in divorce in 2024 according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS). That does not factor in all the other relationships that ended that weren’t marriages, or those that are contemplating ending their relationship, or those that are going through the separation process and haven’t officially made it as a divorce stat. I feel like it’s time to normalise this conversation, and I’d like to share my experience I have had with the many women I have worked with that are going through divorce or coming out of a long-term relationship.

I would like to introduce ‘Sarah’. Sarah is not one single client, she is a reflection of the many women I have sat with over the years. She is somewhere in her late thirties, forties, or fifties, with kids who still need her at school pickup, at dinner time, and at three in the morning when only mum will do. She used to split that load with a partner, and now she is doing it solo, and there are mornings the sheer weight of it catches in her chest before she has even managed to get a cup of coffee into her hand.

Sarah is possibly renting for the first time in years, and she is trying to run a household budget properly, alone, for what feels like the first time ever. It is very likely that for years someone else handled the money, or they handled it together, and she has not had to sit by herself at the kitchen table staring down a pile of bills for a very long time. She is doing an absolutely remarkable job of holding her family together, all while wondering if anyone around her can tell how close to the edge she really feels.

For all the women reading this who can relate to Sarah, does this sound like you? If so, I have written this one for you, and if you are lying awake tonight wondering whether you are about to become one of them, I wrote this for you too. A separation touches almost every part of a woman's life, emotionally, legally and financially, and while I don't have the qualifications to guide you through the emotional or legal side of it, the financial and protective side is exactly where I can help, and it is where too many women are left standing without a safety net.

Major life events are often the moments that expose gaps in our financial protection. It's one of the reasons insurers such as Zurich Australia place so much emphasis on helping Australians understand life insurance, income protection and other forms of personal cover. Divorce and separation can dramatically change financial circumstances, making it an important time to review whether existing protection still reflects your needs.

Caring responsibilities, and when one wage has to do the work of two

One of the first big impacts post a separation is the reduction in household income. In a relationship, two incomes are often relied upon to run a household, to cover the mortgage or rent and manage the everyday cost of raising a family. When two incomes become one, the expenses don't simply halve, housing as an example is needed for both parties, and everyday costs like utilities, transport and groceries often follow the same pattern, meaning two households almost always cost more to run than the one they replaced.

This imbalance often deepens further once caregiving responsibilities are factored in, since it is mothers who carry the majority of that load. According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies (2024), close to 4 in every 5 separated families have mum holding primary or above primary care of the kids, while dads hold that same load in fewer than 1 in every 10. What I have found is that many of my ‘Sarahs’ end up changing their work arrangements to manage this, whether that looks like reducing hours, seeking more flexible employers, or changing occupations altogether.

This adjustment often carries a real financial cost of its own. Research from the Melbourne Institute at the University of Melbourne in 2022 found that a relationship breakdown reduces men's household income by around 5% on average, compared with up to 29% for women. This creates what I call a ‘double whammy’ effect: household income often drops from two salaries to one, and the woman's own share of that income shrinks as well. That gap can feel confronting to read, but it also explains why so many women find themselves needing to rebuild their spending, their budgeting habits and their sense of financial footing almost from scratch, often for the very first time in their lives.

Running a household budget alone for the first time is genuinely hard, particularly as cost of living pressure pushes up rent, groceries and every regular bill just as income has likely dropped. None of this needs to stay a fixed picture, though. The women who adjust fastest tend to be the ones who build a budget that reflects reality, get a clear picture of what is actually coming in and going out each month, and treat the first year on one income as a deliberate rebuild rather than something to just survive through.

Understanding what a property settlement really includes

When you get into the nuts and bolts of a property settlement, it isn't just about who keeps the house, even though that's usually where everyone's head goes first. In reality, it covers pretty much everything either of you owns, no matter whose name is on it. It includes the family home, cars, savings, shares, business interests, debts you're both carrying, and yes, superannuation too. All of it gets thrown into the one pot and looked at together, which is exactly why untangling a settlement can feel like such a mammoth task.

I would like to specifically discuss super, as super can be a big asset which is important to look at properly. It's not sitting in a bank account , so it's easy for it to slip through the cracks of a settlement, even though it can be worth just as much as the family home. It's common enough that in 2022 the law changed, so you can now ask the Family Court to pull your ex's super details straight from the tax office.

Recent research by the Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia (ASFA 2024) shows women's super sits around 26% lower than men's by the time they hit their early sixties. That gap builds up over a lifetime of career breaks and part time work, and a settlement is one of the few chances you get to actually do something about it before it's locked in. It's worth getting an understanding on the super for both of you before anything is signed off, rather than assuming it will sort itself out later.

The one thing nobody thinks to protect

We have looked at the financial side of divorce, including the impact of an increase in caring responsibilities and what that may do to work, a potential decrease in income, a reduction of household income from two salaries to one, and the division of property assets including super.

But if we get back to Sarah, she is also standing at the precipice of one of the most vulnerable points in her entire life, contemplating how she is going to survive. She is now responsible for the lot, her own wellbeing, her kids' wellbeing, the income that keeps a roof over their heads, and the daily grind of holding it all together on her own. What she has likely not stopped to think about is what would happen to her, and to the kids she would do anything for, if she lost her ability to work tomorrow because of sickness, injury or illness. Who would pay the bills and keep the family afloat? Who would show up for her kids the way she always has, if one day she simply could not?

As we have seen, the reality of home life may be that things are really tight and Sarah may be struggling to make ends meet. On the flipside, if Sarah loses her income for a period of time due to medical issues, serious consequences are likely to emerge. This is where personal insurances come in, and by personal insurances I am referring to life insurance, total and permanent disability insurance, trauma insurance and income protection.

One of Sarah's best protection strategies at this stage for herself and her family is to check what cover she already has and top it up if there are gaps. There are a couple of things to consider – does she already hold existing cover, potentially through her super fund, and the impact at this particular time of adding in extra expenses.

Untangling what's already yours

You may hold some life cover through superannuation, so checking your super fund's portal or your latest member statement is a sensible first step. Holding some cover inside your super can be one of the more affordable ways to get protection sorted, since the premiums come out of your existing balance rather than hitting your bank account each pay cycle (although important to note this will also decrease your retirement savings later in life). It is important to note that it won't always be the perfect fit and it's worth checking whether it's enough.

Cover linked to a joint policy with a former partner deserves early attention rather than an assumption that it simply continues, since it can lapse or change once you separate. The safest approach is to contact the insurer directly, or ask a financial adviser to do this for you, and get written confirmation of what is actually in place and in whose name.

And finally, cost may be a genuine barrier, and I am not going to pretend otherwise, but affordability is a reason to get a proper quote and see what is possible, not a reason to assume the answer will always be no. Having no insurance if something happened to her could leave herself and her children facing real financial hardship at the moment they would need stability the most.

Building something that actually fits your life now

Once you know what already exists, the next step is working out what you need going forward. A useful starting point is adding up your household expenses each month, and determining how much money you would need if your income stopped for six months, then two years, then permanently. Factors to consider are to cover rent or mortgage repayments, everyday living costs, and anything specific to your children's needs, then comparing that against any cover you already hold through super.

If you have moved into part time work, casual hours, or self-employment since separating, it is worth checking whether your income protection policy (if you have one) still reflects your current position. It is important to ensure the cover you have accurately reflects your current position and the premium you are paying is commensurate with that level of cover. If you need to apply for new cover, a pre-existing health condition does not automatically rule you out either, since insurers assess applications individually and a specific exclusion is a potential option rather than an outright decline. Income protection premiums held personally and outside superannuation are generally tax deductible, which can bring the real cost down meaningfully.

Where to from here

Rebuilding your finances after a relationship ends is rarely a straight line, and there's no single checklist that fits every situation. That said, there are a few things that are worth prioritising early. Get a clear picture of your new household budget based on what you're actually earning now, not what things used to look like. Chase up your side of the property settlement properly, including superannuation, rather than letting it slide because it feels too hard to face. Then once the budget and the settlement are sorted, protecting what you've got left is the piece most people forget.

There is no single right amount of cover, but there are four main types of personal insurance worth understanding, life insurance, total and permanent disability insurance, trauma or critical illness insurance, and income protection. Each covers a different scenario, and together they build a genuine picture of what would happen if the unimaginable occurred while you are the only one holding everything together. A financial adviser who specialises in personal risk insurance can help pull this together properly, and you can have a look through the Zurich website to learn more about life insurance, income protection, total and permanent disability insurance and trauma cover, and understand how these products may help protect financial wellbeing after major life changes such as divorce or separation.